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Book Jacket

Trade Paperback
192 pages
Aug 2005
Bethany House

Growing Your Own Turtleneck...and Other Benefits of Aging

by Martha Bolton

Review  |   Author Bio  |  Read an Excerpt


WARNING: do not read Growing Your Own Turtleneck by Martha Bolton in bed unless you have a marriage counselor lined up. suppressed giggles jiggling bed and sudden guffaws will stress marital harmony!

Martha Bolton is at it again, describing the lighter side of aging. She explores a variety of issues from the five people you see at every buffet line to the dangers of being trapped in a changing room in a turtleneck to road signs for middle-agers. Along the way she adds some gentle words of wisdom. Though women are more likely to read this book, Bolton does not forget the men but offers inspiring suggestions on making recliners more practical for men and the benefits of a new medication: Golficillen. For the musically inclined, she includes the top twenty songs for middle-agers, such as Frank Sinatra's singing, "Stumbling though the Night," and a hilarious spoof on "Yesterday."

A comedy writer for Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller, and others, Bolton writes in a delightfully funny, friendly style. She connects well with average readers because she understands their world and doesn't disparage it. Her insights and twists on the problems of aging will leave you laughing, thoughtful, or both.

She does not include raunchy, sexual, or questionable humor. She may discuss menopause or even the differences between the sexes, but not in crass or embarrassing terms as is becoming common with comedians--even "Christian" ones. I enjoyed every chapter and feel comfortable sending this to my mother, my Christian friends of any denomination, and to my daughter-in-law. Bolton's humor is so delightful that this is a good way to get a Christian book into the hands of a non-Christian friend. This is the second of Bolton's books I've read and I'm fast becoming a fan. -- Debbie W. Wilson, Christian Book

Book Jacket:

Laughter Is the Best Medicine for Middle Age

What else can you do but laugh when you look in the mirror and discover that right there, under your chin, you’ve grown your own turtleneck? What can you say when you have driven miles in the fast lane, only to find your left turn signal has been blinking the entire time? If you can relate, Martha Bolton has some new prescription medications that you’ll find useful, including:

  • Fanthropan: Open box, discard medication, then wave the “Possible Side Effects” insert in front of face until hot flash subsides.
  • Lazichor: Take one dose for temporary coma-like state to avoid wife’s honey-do list.
  • Memorazine: Take one every morning to remember what other pills you’re supposed to take.

Laugh out loud with Martha as she points out the often overlooked hilarities of life. Remember that the older you get, the more you realize that your time is too valuable to waste, so live your life “on purpose”—but have some fun doing it!