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Book Jacket

Trade Paperback
252 pages
Oct 2004
InterVarsity Press

Reconcilable Differences: Hope and Healing for Troubled Marriages

by Virginia Todd Holeman

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Reconcilable Differences by Virginia Todd Holeman is a penetrating guide for those wounded by a mate but not wanting to end the marriage. Dr. Holeman defines reconciliation as “the active commitment to the restoration of love and trustworthiness by both injured party and transgressor so that their relationship may be transformed.” She discusses the commitments needed for reconciling a broken relationship and the steps or “tasks” that encourage reconciliation.

But forgiveness can seem impossible when our mate cheats on us, gets involved with pornography, or drugs. She says God ordained relationships when he created us, but we all know that sin entered and twisted our ability to relate. This is a how-to manual for mending the closest relationship of all--marriage.

Dr. Holeman challenges us to be discerning and confront the evil in ourselves. Part of this process includes getting “a clear knowledge of who you are in relation to others; (having) the ability to see yourself and others as uniquely created by God; and (the ability) to tolerate pain for the sake of growth.” Only then, can we truly be a part of the healing.

This book will cause you to take a closer look at how you treat your mate; discover how you really feel about yourself; consider how you think of others; and see how you relate to others and how they relate to you. Reconcilable Differences is a resource to help anyone who wants more out of their marriage relationship, or even out of friendships.

Not a book to read in one night, Dr. Holeman quotes many different authorities in her book and adds insights from her years of counseling, to come up with a book that can help many, if not all of us, at some point in our lives. -- Linda Demorest, Christian Book

Book Jacket:

What does it take to really make right a severely damaged relationship?

When going back to how things were is not nearly good enough, is there hope for true transformation and healing?

Counselor and teacher Virginia Todd Holeman weaves together biblical insight and rich theological reflection while drawing from the best of current psychological studies on forgiveness, repentance and reconciling. Out of her own research you will hear the poignant stories of married couples who tell in their own words what it’s like to seek reconciliation in seemingly hopeless situations. Complete with honest and practical help, this book will be an encouragement to married couples who dare to hope for the healing and transforming of broken relationships and for counselors and pastors who want to work more effectively with them.