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Book Jacket

Trade Paperback
208 pages
Jan 2005
Harvest House Publishers

Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For

by Sharon Jaynes

Review  |   Author Bio  |  Read an Excerpt



  1. An Invitation to Play the Starring Role

    Section One
    Prays for Him

  2. What Does Prayer Have to Do with It?
  3. Then God Created an Intercessor
  4. Prayer Changes People

    Section Two
    Respects Him

  5. The One Thing He Can’t Do Without
  6. Two Heads Are Not Always Better Than One
  7. Wanting What You Have vs. Having What You Want
  8. A Picture Paints a Thousand Words
  9. Happy Endings
    Twenty-Five Ways to Show Respect

    Section Three
    Adores Him

  10. The Longing of His Heart
  11. Love on a Silver Platter
  12. Serving in a Me-First Society
  13. Romance Is Not Just for Us Girls
  14. Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’?
    Twenty-Five Ways to Show Your Husband You Adore Him

    Section Four
    Initiates Intimate Friendship with Him

  15. A Thousand Sharings
  16. Creating Commonalities
  17. Communicating Effectively
    Twenty-Five Ways to Be a Good Listener

    Section Five
    Safeguards Her Marriage

  18. In-Laws or Out-Laws?
  19. Then There Were Three
  20. Guard Your Heart
  21. Homeland Security
    Twenty-Five Ways to Safeguard Your Marriage

    Section Six
    Encourages Him

  22. The Power of a Word
  23. Don’t Try to Out-Man Your Man
  24. What You Plant Is What You Grow
  25. Chief Cheerleader or Chief Critic?
    Twenty-Five Things to Never Say to Your Spouse
    Twenty-Five Things Your Husband Longs to Hear

    Section Seven
    Sexually Fulfills Him

  26. The First Chapter in His Book
  27. Recharging His Battery
  28. The Right and Fright of Refusal
  29. Get Creative
    Twenty-Five Tips for Making Sparks Fly

    Epilogue: What Will the Future Hold?
    Appendix: Praying Scriptural Prayers for Your Husband from Head to Toe
    Study Guide


    An Invitation to Play the Starring Role

    “And they lived happily ever after.”

    Wait a minute. That is supposed to be the end of the story, not the beginning. Well, my friend, I think that has been our problem in marriage all along. To have a great marriage, we must begin with the hoped-for end in mind. Every word we speak, every decision we make, and every action we take will either move us closer to or take us further away from that end.

    From the time a little girl first hears fairy tales of the damsel in distress being rescued by the handsome prince, captivated by his pledge of never-ending love, and whisked away on a white steed into the sunset, a dream begins to take shape on the stage of her mind. She hopes and prays that one day her prince will come. And then…one day he does! Oh, he may not look like the prince in the storybooks, or even like the one from her childhood imaginings, but he is her prince nonetheless. Will the words “and they lived happily ever after” appear before the final curtain falls? My dear sister, this is not just something we hope for. It is something we work toward. It is the goal, and you, fair lady, have been invited to play the starring role.

    Have you ever considered that your husband had similar notions of what his dream wife would be like? As a little boy he probably didn’t sit around reading fairy tales about becoming a prince—a warrior, maybe—but not the neat-and-tidy young man who placed his lips upon Snow White’s to wake her from a cursed sleep. He most likely skipped the Barbie aisle where Malibu Ken stood with every hair in place on his plastic head and went straight for the G.I. JOEs. Our spouses probably didn’t give much thought to what they wanted in a wife until their teen years. However, your husband’s vision of a future mate most assuredly began to unfurl when he laid eyes on you.

    Remember the courting days? That’s when we ladies put our best foot forward—in hopes that the glass slipper will fit. With a smile on our lips and a sparkle in our eyes, we somehow convinced this man that we are what he’s been looking for his entire life! The woman of his dreams!

    So we buy the beautiful dress, gather with family and friends, and walk down the aisle to say, “I do.” Then the organ blasts, and we walk out the door into reality. This is where the glass slipper meets the road. Can we do it? Can we be the woman of our man’s dreams? Do we really even want to?

    When I married my wonderful husband, Steve, I had no idea what it would take to truly become the woman of his dreams. Oh, he told me that I already was, but I had an inkling there would be more to having a happy marriage than the fact that I loved Steve and Steve loved me. Even on our wedding day, the most beautiful day of my life, I had a suspicion there was more to discovering what it meant to truly become one. It didn’t take me very long to learn that I was right.

    In the Bible, Proverbs 31 describes the wife of noble character. “An excellent wife, who can find? Her worth is far above jewels (Proverbs 31:10 NASB). This gal was smart, skillful, thrifty, industrious, and strong. She had a reverence for God and was a blessed mother, keeper of her home, savvy money manager, faithful friend and mentor, and compassionate servant in the community. She was a powerful force long before Helen Reddy sang “I am woman, hear me roar.” And what did her husband think about all her admirable qualities? He praised her saying, “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all” (Proverbs 31:29).

    What would it take for a man to praise his wife at the beginning and end of their lives together and all the days in between? In order to find the answer to that question, I surveyed hundreds of men and had countless interviews. I asked men the following questions:

    • How would you describe the woman of your dreams?

    • What do you wish your wife understood about you and your longings?

    • What does your wife do well that other women could learn from?

    • What has been the greatest struggle in your marriage?

    • How could your wife help alleviate that problem?

    • What is one thing you wish women understood about what a man wants in the woman of his dreams?

    As I compiled the interviews and surveys, I noticed seven qualities of the dream wife that kept coming up time and time again, and I have arranged them to fit the acrostic PRAISES. The woman of your man’s dreams prays for him, respects him, adores him, initiates intimate friendship with him, safeguards her marriage, encourages him, and sexually fulfills him. While each man is as different as the prints on his fingertips, these seven qualities were universal.

    I want you to know that I am not coming to you as an expert who knows all there is to know about becoming the woman of my man’s dreams. Rather, I am learning right along with you. I discovered so much from the men I talked to throughout this journey. What touched me more than anything was that these men truly love their wives and want to have strong marriages built on a thousand sharings. They were very honest with me, and they felt safe to share what was really on their hearts and minds. However, most did not feel safe enough for me to use their real names. That is a commentary in itself. Because of their honesty, you may see some things you don’t like, the hair may bristle on the back of your neck, and you may throw the book down in a huff. But I would encourage you to keep reading if you really want to become the woman of your man’s dreams.

    Sprinkled throughout the pages are glimpses of various men’s hearts as they shared their responses. Who knows? You may even see yourself mirrored in a response or two.

    So join me now on a fantastic journey where you are the leading lady with the starring role in the grand drama called marriage, and discover with me the joys of Becoming the Woman of His Dreams.

    Excerpted from Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes. Copyright © 2005 by Harvest House Publishers. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.